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Thursday, December 11, 2014

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder (#4)


     I just read an article that listed the top Ten American Cities with the ugliest people. It also showed the ten cities with the most attractive people. The two lists are the result of a recent survey by readers of Travel and Leisure Magazine. The purpose of the survey was to gauge the magazine reader's perception of the most and least attractive people they had encountered while on vacation.
     The good news is, it was a limited survey by readers of just one magazine. The bad news is, my city of Philadelphia is number five on the list of facially challenged cities. I guess that explains the shortage of mirror salesman, the large number of people with bags on their heads, the explosion in the number of plastic surgeons setting up residence, and why eHarmony and have pulled all their advertising off local billboards.

     Can you guess the number one city for beautiful women and handsome men? It just happens to be Miami, Florida. It seems that most of the good looking people are in warm weather cities with beaches and a vibrant night-life. Included among attractive cities are: Tampa, San Diego, Los Angeles, and Honolulu, Hawaii. There is, one notable exception. It seems Providence, Rhode Island is a hot bed of good looking human beings. The only thing I can figure is, there’s not many people there. Maybe two or three good looking people moved in and they sky rocketed Providence up the list.
     The more I think about it, maybe the results of the survey where skewed by the location the tourists surveyed. Put me in a comfortable and colorful Hawaiian shirt, hand me a bottle of delicious and smooth rum, blare some wonderful Latino music, and bake me in the sun for eight hours. I figure by sunset, you could put my dog, Chase in a string bikini, and he’d be fairly attractive.
     I hate to admit this, but I do agree with some of the choices for cities with ugly people. Number one on the list is Detroit. I’m not the best looking guy, but I once visited the city, and guess what? For one magical day, I was extremely good looking. It was like walking into a two square mile Wal-Mart, looking around, and having your self-esteem, go through the roof.
     Other cities, filled with large quantities of unattractive people includes: Memphis, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Oklahoma City, and Louisville, Kentucky. I was intrigued to see Portland, Maine had made the ugly list at number ten. Years ago, I was in Portland, and had stopped at a bar in the Old Port on Wharf Street. I’m not saying the people were ugly, but it looked like a scene from Pirates of the Caribbean. I swear, one guy had a face that looked like a lobster.
     I guess I shouldn’t judge. This morning I got up, stumbled into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, rubbed my eyes, and for a split second wondered why I was still wearing my Halloween mask. Realizing I was looking at my real face, I thought to myself,
“Wow, if this continues, Philadelphia might just move up a few spots by next year.”

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