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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

My Resolution for the New Year (#14)

     This past September, my wife and I, celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary. We’ve experienced a few tough times, but after all these years we remain committed to each other. A few weeks ago we had just finished putting up our Christmas tree, and were relaxing with cups of strong hot coffee. 

     Like most long-term married couples, we’ve become comfortable together, and enjoy an easy banter, which often involves gentle teasing. I asked my wife if she’d decided yet, whether she’d keep me for another year, or trade me in for a newer model. Smiling, she replied,

“I’m still thinking about it, but you’re still my first choice; though there is a new UPS driver at work who came in yesterday with quite a package.”

      I then said, “Honey, what is it that makes me your first choice?” After thinking for a moment, she replied, “I don’t know. I guess it’s because you’re sturdy, dependable, solid, and hard working.’’ I said,

“That makes me sound like a washing machine!” She laughed and said, “Okay, how about you’re a good man, generous, have a great sense of humor, and I love the way you laugh.” “So now you love me, because I remind you of Santa Claus?”

     I guess I should be thankful she didn’t say I was trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. I’d then have to squeeze into my old Boy Scout uniform, help elderly women cross the street, and earn merit badges for preparing romantic dinners, massaging her feet, and doing extra housework.

     After thinking about our conversation, I’ve decided to make a New Year’s resolution. For 2015, I’m going to do everything in my power to become just like those men on the covers of women’s romance novels. By this time next year, when I ask my wife what it is that she likes about me, I’ll hear,

“You’re exciting, spontaneous, sexy, fit, have six-pack abs, are ruggedly handsome, have magnificent hair, a great chest, dark, penetrating eyes, and are mysterious, dangerous, and unpredictable.”

     Or, better yet; she may say nothing at all. She may gaze deeply into my eyes, throw down her romance novel, gently grasp my hand, and lead me slowly toward the……….. Sorry, but this is a family oriented blog. You’ll just have to use your imagination. Have a wonderful, happy and successful New Year, and wish me luck.

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