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SIMPLE OBSERVATIONS

Welcome to my updated site. I hope you enjoy my gentle brand of humor. If you made it here, please come back for more of my simple observations of everyday life.



Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Santa Claus is Coming to Town




A few nights ago, I was feverishly writing down my wish list for Santa. I had already listed comfortable, white, Fruit of the Loom underwear, warm socks, a new snow shovel, a knit ski hat, and a heating pad, when I paused for a moment to reminisce about being a child, and the anticipation of good old Saint Nicks visit. My family had a tradition of reading the poem, “The Night Before Christmas,” in front of a roaring fire, as we all sipped hot chocolate, and stared in wonder at a beautifully decorated Christmas tree, and colorful stockings hung above the fireplace. I’m not sure, if I’ve ever experienced that feeling of wonder and magic since. I still have memories of lying in bed on Christmas Eve, hearing a noise, looking out the window, seeing snow fall from our rooftop, and envisioning Santa Claus disembarking from his sleigh with an enormous bag, as eight tiny reindeer waited patiently nearby.

I remember from the poem, how Santa Claus was described as being dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. He had a broad face, and a little round belly, that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf. His eyes how they twinkled. His dimples how merry. His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry. Wait a minute….. I just realized something. Except for not having a beard, I look exactly like Santa Claus! I guess that explains a few things. In November, I took a much-needed two-week vacation, stopped shaving, bundled up in my fur-lined red jacket, and enjoyed a few delicious alcoholic beverages. Well – maybe a little more than a few. I kept having, smiling small children rush up to me, jump on my lap, and recite lengthy Christmas wish lists, before departing with their frazzled parents, who usually gave me disapproving looks.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Excessive Christmas Spirit



Christmas - 1


My new book, "Simple Observations - A humorous Look at the Absurdity of the World Around Us," is almost here. The book cover has been designed, the final edit is complete, and it's nearing publication. It probably; unless I have a Christmas miracle, won't be out before the 25th. In celebration of the Holidays, and the promotion of the book, I'm publishing one of the stories, here on my blog. I hope you enjoy it, and it possibly peaks your interest in reading the entire book in the coming year.

Like most of you, I love the festive mood, the spirit of giving, and the sense of family during the holiday season. I also love the tradition of fresh-cut Christmas trees decorated with shiny spheres of glass, long strands of silver tinsel, bright and colorful strings of lights, and topped with a radiant golden angel siting majestically, upon the highest peak. On cold December evenings, I’ll slowly stroll through my neighborhood, bundled in layers of warm clothing, as I enjoy the wonder of subtle, yet beautiful Christmas decorations. I especially enjoy brightly lit candles in the windows of houses, a single tree aglow in the front yard with either white, red or blue lights, candy canes standing tall and proud like soldiers lined up along the walkways, and a few silver icicles hanging like thin frozen spears of ice.

Over the past few years though, I’ve been observing that Christmas decorations have made a slow, but steady change from simple, yet lovely displays to more garish scenes. Houses have become adorned with thousands of blinding lights, windows plastered with dozens of Christmas images, and roofs loaded with the crushing weight of multiple yuletide figures. I have also seen once barren lawns filled with what looks like a cross between a Macy’s Halloween parade and a Disney character convention.